What About Gary?
by Tracy Diane Miller
Summary: What is scarier than receiving tomorrow's paper today? Having one of your saves be Joan Gallagher.


What About Gary?  
  
Summary: Question- What is scarier than receiving tomorrow's  
  
newspaper today? Answer- Having one of your saves be Joan  
  
Gallagher. This very short story is an EE/What About Joan?  
  
crossover.  
  
Disclaimer: Early Edition and What About Joan? characters belong to  
  
their creators. No copyright infringement intended. No profit is  
  
being made.  
  
Author's Note: After immersing myself in the daily writing of a  
  
continuing series for over a year and particularly spending the last  
  
three months addressing weighty emotion in my stories, this story  
  
represents an unexpected detour. But be forewarned: This story is  
  
just meant to be absurd and goofy.  
  
Author: Tracy Diane Miller  
  
E-mail: tdmiller82@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
What About Gary?  
  
"Meow." Thump.  
  
"Go away!" Gary bellowed. He grabbed the pillow and held it over  
  
his head praying that he could drown out the cry of his possessive  
  
messenger.  
  
"Meow."  
  
No such luck.  
  
Gary really wasn't eager to start this day. Yesterday, he had nearly  
  
round the clock saves. It was his last save, at a strip club, that  
  
made him cringe. The paper asked him to stop an altercation between  
  
two female strippers fighting over a hefty tip left by a patron. He  
  
had stopped the fight, but not before becoming a human wishbone to  
  
the aggressive strippers. He had been lucky to get out there with  
  
his dignity and his clothes intact.  
  
"Meow." The cat's cry was insistent now.  
  
Defeated, Gary threw back his bed covers, rose from the bed, and  
  
proceeded to the door. His footsteps were as heavy as a guy walking  
  
towards the guillotine.  
  
Gary flung open the door. The cat offered another "meow" before  
  
surrendering the paper and scurrying into the loft. Gary flashed the  
  
cat an annoyed look before bending down to pick up the paper. He  
  
closed the door. Flipping through the paper, he noticed the usual  
  
saves- slip and falls, school fights. However, on page ten, a story  
  
captured his eye "Woman Chokes To Death On Donut." A picture of the  
  
victim accompanied the story. He read the story out loud. "At 7:30  
  
a.m., Joan Gallagher, a teacher, choked to death while eating a donut  
  
at Dino's."  
  
Great. The day was already starting out to be another winner. No  
  
shock that Dino's was the venue of the choking disaster. Dino's was  
  
probably serving the same pastry they had served the night of his  
  
infamous date with Emma years ago.  
  
Gary quickly took a shower, dressed in his white turtleneck sweater  
  
and a pair of blue jeans, and hurried out of the loft to prevent  
  
another catastrophe.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Joan stared intently inside her very large cup of coffee. People say  
  
that you could read the future looking inside of a coffee cup. No,  
  
wait...that was tea leaves. The only future promised by cups of  
  
coffee is acute caffeine addiction.  
  
Maybe Alice and Ruby had been right. Maybe if she and Jake talked  
  
this thing through everything would be okay. Except she didn't know  
  
where Jake had gone. After he stormed out of her apartment last  
  
night, she left several frantic messages on his answering machine.  
  
She even called at 4:00 a.m. and got the answering machine. Just  
  
where was he at 4:00 a.m. anyway? And this morning when she called  
  
his secretary, the woman said that he wasn't available. Liar. He  
  
was probably sitting right there laughing at her desperation while  
  
playing some juvenile game of one upmanship. How could such a fine  
  
evening turned into World War III?  
  
Joan reviewed the events of the previous night in her mind. When she  
  
came home last night from an evening teacher's meeting, she was  
  
pleasantly surprised to find Jake in her apartment cooking dinner.  
  
She marveled at her good fortune. Not only did she have the most  
  
handsome, most considerate, most intelligent guy alive, but he could  
  
cook, too. Mother always said that if you could find a guy who could  
  
cook, you should marry him on the spot.  
  
There lies the problem. The "M" word, the octopus that kept rearing  
  
its head and strangling her with its many arms (commitment,  
  
permanency, constancy, responsibility, certainty) words that scared  
  
her. She had always been a spontaneous, fly by the seat of her  
  
pants, kind of girl. And weren't investment bankers supposed to be  
  
big on planning? Who proposes after just nine dates anyway? Then  
  
again, their first meeting could have easily gone into "The Guinness  
  
Book of World Records" under most unconventional. She would have  
  
gone to confession after what happened between her and Jake that  
  
first night. Then again, she wasn't Catholic.  
  
Jake knew how she felt about being pressured. She thought that he  
  
understood. She had almost moved in with him because of her fear of  
  
losing him, but that time, he was chivalrous. He told her that he  
  
only wanted her to make that decision when she was ready. Yet, he  
  
also let her know that occasionally he would propose.  
  
Like last night.  
  
They had just finished the wonderful meal of chicken marsala, ravioli  
  
stuffed with crabmeat, and creamed asparagus. He removed the glass  
  
of white wine from her hand and placed it on the coffee table next to  
  
his glass. He had such a mischievous gleam in his eye. He then told  
  
her what he had been thinking about doing all day. He wanted  
  
to...play Scrabble. Huh? Play Scrabble? Yep, sure, that was the  
  
obvious request following a romantic dinner. Of course, when he also  
  
stripped down to his boxers (the ones with the little red hearts on  
  
them) she should have figured that something was going on. Yet, she  
  
indulged his desire to play Scrabble. Ten minutes later, he had  
  
completed his twenty-point phrase "Will You Marry Me?" She was  
  
speechless. Even after he went into the bedroom and returned a few  
  
moments later with a small velvet box and opened it to reveal a huge  
  
pear shaped diamond engagement ring, she, Joan Gallagher, was still  
  
speechless. Finally, after a long and agonizing silence, she spoke.  
  
Instead of answering his question, she asked him whether he wanted to  
  
play Monopoly next. She rambled about how she felt lucky tonight.  
  
She was sure that she could score Park Place, maybe with even a few  
  
hotels on it, too. Her avoidance of his question was met by his  
  
uncharacteristic anger. He threw back the words he had uttered early  
  
in their relationship "You made me feel like a fool." He called her  
  
selfish and immature and added that he didn't want to stay in a  
  
relationship that lacked direction. Then he stormed out of her  
  
apartment...wearing only his boxers.  
  
Joan sighed heavily. She picked up her glazed donut. "Hi, friend.  
  
We have been through so much together in our...," she looked at her  
  
watch, "...twenty minutes here." She said to the donut. "Sorry I  
  
have to eat you and I'll probably be even sorrier when you go  
  
directly to my hips, but you understand, don't you? You wouldn't get  
  
angry with me for turning down your marriage proposal, would you?"  
  
She rambled. Just as she prepared to take a bite of the donut, a  
  
stranger bolted across the room and snatched the donut away from  
  
her. Only it was no stranger. It was Jake.  
  
"Hey! Don't eat that lady." Gary warned.  
  
Joan was shocked to see Jake, but she was happy that he was there.  
  
He must have called Alice or Ruby and learned that she was having  
  
breakfast at Dino's. He must have wanted to make up.  
  
"Oh, Jake!" She gushed. She rose from her seat, threw her arms  
  
around him, and kissed him hungrily on the lips.  
  
"You're...you're welcome." A shocked Gary stammered after the kiss  
  
ended, a noticeable blush on his face.  
  
"Jake, I'm so sorry about last night. I never meant to make you feel  
  
like a fool. I know that you want to get married. The  
  
big "M"...it's so scary. What if I'm no good at it? Look at what  
  
happened to Mark and Betsy? I don't want that to happen to us." She  
  
confessed.  
  
Who was this nut? And why did she keep calling him Jake? Gary  
  
wondered.  
  
"Listen, lady. I don't know who you are or what you're talking  
  
about, but since everything is okay here, I'll be going."  
  
"Oh my God! Jake, you have amnesia, don't you? You were in a  
  
horrible accident after you left my apartment and that caused you to  
  
lose your memory, didn't it? You didn't come to Dino's looking for  
  
me. You came because you have been wandering the streets all night,  
  
lost and scared. You were hungry so you ended up here. Oh, Jake.  
  
I'm so sorry, but don't worry. I'll help you through this. I'll  
  
call Ruby. She'll know what to do. We'll get through this  
  
together." Joan reassured.  
  
"My name is not Jake, it's Gary. And I don't have amnesia." Gary  
  
said perturbed.  
  
"Don't worry, everything will be okay." She repeated before planting  
  
another kiss on his lips.  
  
Just then, the handsome investment banker with gorgeous mud green  
  
eyes wearing a double breasted Armani suit entered Dino's.  
  
"Joan, I'm so sorry about last night that I..." He stopped mid-  
  
sentence. "What the..." Jake exclaimed when he saw his girlfriend  
  
standing next to a man who could be his twin.  
  
"Jake?" Joan asked, returning his shock. She glanced at  
  
Gary. "And Jake?" She picked up her coffee cup then yelled to the  
  
waiter. "Hey! What did you put in this coffee anyway? I'm  
  
hallucinating!"  
  
The End. 


End file.
